Light
by RainTeaandDragons
Summary: Light flared from the windows of the institute. For Alec, that light could only mean one thing, but every fibre of his being hoped it wasn't true.


I've waited over a week to post this as I felt we all needed to bask in the beauty which was the Malec scene in 2x10, but here I am now! It's a little angsty, but that is what I do best (according to some)...but the ending is happy (trust me, I still have an alternate ending formulated in my mind for this episode which I can't bring myself to write). This just delves a little more into the thoughts and feelings of the group during these couple of scenes...  
Enjoy!

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Light flared from the windows of the institute. That light could only mean one thing, but every fibre of his being hoped it wasn't true. Alec was running down the stairs two at a time before he'd even considered the action. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, mixing painfully with a sickening dread. He wouldn't just lose Magnus if the soul sword was activated, Jace had demon blood too…and at this point he wasn't sure which was worse.

Jace pulled himself to his feet. Every inch of him aching, he looked around, blinked. Once, twice. He could hear Clary whisper his name but all he could do was gape at the scene before him. The floor surrounding them likened more to a battle ground than the usual calm and beauty of that room.

"I…I don't understand. How did I activate the sword?" There were many things were running through Jace's mind in that moment but that what was all that left his lips. Confusion and guilt laced his tone as he stared around the room.

"Only someone with pure angel blood could have done it…"

Jace whipped round. That much he did know, and he didn't need Clary's next words to confirm the truth.

"You don't have demon blood Jace."

Under any other circumstance Jace might have felt relief, but in that moment, surrounded by the carnage his actions had left behind he felt far from it. Part of him wished, foolishly, that it hadn't been true.

"No."

The sound of Alec's voice brought Jace crashing back to earth. Tears threatening to break loose as he faced his brother.

"You did this? You activated the sword?" Alec couldn't keep the accusation from his tone as he glared at Clary in bewilderment. It was the only way to steady his voice.

"No…I– "

"I did it." Jace took a shaky breath. "I thought it was destroying it, Alec, but I…" Panic rose in his throat as he stared wide eyed at Alec. _Magnus_.

"Where's Magnus?" Alec could feel as the panic set in. His stomach twisted, mouth dry. His usual stoic calm left him at the thought of what could have happened. "He wasn't here, was he?"

"I– I don't know." Jace whispered, realisation setting in with the sharp, beating ache of his parabatai rune. _I can't have. No. He has been so happy…_

"We portaled in upstairs. We split up. I–" Clary didn't know what to say.

The truth hung in the air between them. Held there by a mountain of devastating what-ifs and maybes which could only mean one thing.

Glancing down at the sea of still bodies which blanketed the floor, Alec swallowed. His breath catching in his throat as his reality crashed around him. "Oh god."

Alec didn't even hear Jace call after him as his shaking legs carried him blindly from the room.

Time was irrelevant as Alec ran through the institute. Nothing mattered. Not anymore. Just Magnus. He needed to find Magnus. He wouldn't accept his other reality, the possibility of losing him was something Alec couldn't bear.

As the dread that had settled earlier turned to pure, unbridled panic. Alec could feel as his breath hitched painfully. It caught in this already dry throat, making his breathing even more laboured than before.

 _I'd yelled at him. The last thing I did was yell at him._

He didn't want to think about that, but since he'd left Jace and Clary that was all that occupied his mind. The guilt churned in his chest as he darted from one unmoving body to another.

No one stopped him. No one asked who he was looking for. Yet most of the Institute knew about him and Magnus now, or at least some form of the wedding kiss. It didn't faze Alec, he could see the look they gave him. _Pity_. It was something he didn't need, didn't want, because Magnus was alive he could feel it. Though as he searched the building and the early morning light began to shine through the windows he was beginning to lose hope at finding Magnus.

At this point, everybody looked like Magnus.

Every unmoving Downworlder had _his_ eyes, _his_ hair, _his_ lips. But on closer inspection, _no_ , first relief, then guilt. For beneath what he could only see as his own selfish dread, Alec knew that someone, somewhere probably loved this Downworlder just as much as he did Magnus.

 _Love_.

Alec hadn't let himself admit it to himself until now. The truth of their situation. As if somehow, letting himself really acknowledge those feelings would strip Magnus from him. That painful fear of the loss of something, of someone so precious was unbearable. Yet the very real prospect of that which Alec feared had seemed to put it all in perspective.

 _Magnus may be immortal, but he isn't invincible._

Alec finally reached the large wooden doors to the institute and pushed out through the throngs of people into the sunlight. With no sight of Magnus anywhere, his heart dropped. Fearing the worst, he couldn't let himself wonder, even just for a moment, that maybe Magnus was alright.

The fear he felt as he gazed around the near empty courtyard left him breathless. His eyes wide and palms sweating, he could feel the heat behind his eyes as a lump formed in his throat.

 _No. No!_

Then a hand on his arm and that familiar smell and he was pulling Magnus as close as possible. All his fear, the cloud of dread which had settled the moment he'd heard those screams, every wild thought which had crossed his mind seemed to melt away at the Warlocks touch. The comfort, that feeling of home, he'd been craving it since their fight. To feel it again, all Alec could do was hold on tight. His irrational side praying this wasn't some cruel dream his mind had created to tide him over. Breathing him in, Alec knew it was real.

 _Real._

As they broke apart Alec knew Magnus was talking but right then, in that moment, all he cared about was that Magnus, his Magnus, was okay.

"Magnus, on every mission I've ever been on, I've never felt that type of fear, ever. Not knowing if you were alive or dead. I–" Alec's breath caught in his throat. "I was terrified."

Magnus rested a hand on Alec's arm. "So was I." He could see the fear still lingering in Alec's expression, but deeper than that, there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something he hadn't seen there before, not like that anyway.

"Magnus, I– I love you."

Magnus couldn't help but startle, though he tried to cover it. Of all the things that he'd expected Alec to say, that wasn't one of them. He'd even gone as far as to think that he might be about to say that it was all too much. That the fear he'd felt was something he didn't want to have to deal with again. Magnus had braced himself for the worse. All things considered, he couldn't help the little shake of the head in disbelief. "I love you too."

There was an urgency in the way Alec pulled Magnus towards him, crashing their lips together. Beneath that through, there was something so tender, something neither want to let go of. As their lips parted, foreheads resting against each other's, it was more than just a kiss, it was a promise. A small smile twitched as Magnus's lips as he relished in the warmth of Alec's touch.

Then as they pulled each other back into a hug, both could truly embrace the warmth and comfort the other brought. Neither wanting to ever let go.


End file.
